He is a selfish jerk, absolutely. This morning I raced home to take ds2 to his thing, only to find that H was already there. He insisted on taking him so that he got to see him, so I went and had a shower and put on a nice dress, red lipstick and perfume. When he got back he asked me about my race and about Italy. I said that ds1 didn't want to go to Italy and that we've made our decision. He got the message, asked me to let him know the dates so he can make arrangements to take the kids somewhere another time. I asked when he was taking ds1 out and he said he was still asleep, so I asked if he could stay until the supermarket delivery turned up so I could go out. He asked if I was going to the office. I said I was going out, gave no details. And then I headed out, I wasn't unfriendly but I wasn't very chatty. I won't be meeting him in the evenings in future. TBH I am angry about his radio silence last week, and that anger is fuelling me towards not wanting to see him.
I feel really lonely, I HATE weekends so much. I feel stuck and sad and just bleurgh. Bad couple of days. But I'll pick myself up, make plans and keep busy. I can do this.
