I'm glad to read that you no longer want to placate him!!! Cross off the C in CAGD!!
I love it!
I don't know if a switch has flicked in my head, or I am just on the cusp of a giant backslide, but I do feel different these days. Still sad and still lonely sometimes. Still angry sometimes. But all of that is my stuff to deal with and nothing to do with him. And his stuff - whatever it is - isn't really my problem and doesn't feel that way either. I'm grateful he's being involved and reliable with the kids. I've seen him make more effort with Eldest. I think his time off has done him a lot of good, and the brief times I've seen him he looks healthier and better rested. I worry less about him - and feel less responsible for him. He seems happier than he was and I'm glad about that.
Haven't texted him those childcare options yet. Need to get my diary out and have a think about what options feel equitable to me and suit my practical needs best. Youngest needs regular contact with him and that is of course paramount. I think I might send him three different options, all acceptable to me, and let him choose the one that suits him best. Better DB would be to let him come to me and ask for something, but I suspect an 'ad hoc' thing would suit him better - he doesn't like planning - but me and the kids need some predictable routine.
