Married couple from Scandinavia

[BenB]

Quick update

I said last week that I don´t want to go back to that therapist anymore. W asked why and I explained that for a solution based therapist she mostly sits quiet and that it doesn´t seem like she has any ideas at all. W seemed to agree and that was it. I emailed the therapist that we will let her know if we need help in the future.

I have another highly recommended therapist who happens to have her office 5 minute walk from where we live but I think we´ll take a break for now. And I don´t want to suggest MC if we go again. It should come from her.

There has been zero intimacy since we came home from Paris but that was expected. The visit from her parents was fun. The day after they left, we went to see a movie and had dinner after. Everything feels just like normal, I sometimes forget we´re in a crisis but then I remember that we don´t touch each other and haven´t for a long time.

Today she is going out to an outdoor concert with her work friends. I had arranged the tickets for this many months ago, something which I won´t do anymore following the advice of others here. Two of her friends are coming to our place for drinks first so I´m meeting my brother to spend the rest of the day with him.

The vibe at home is pleasant. She seems to look forward to our time together, watching TV shows and having dinners. Yet there are still times when I feel the urge to calmly say that I am done with this and she can go ahead and move out now. I wonder why that is. Perhaps because I know that would shock her. Perhaps because I don´t like the idea of having a room mate living with me and not a partner.

Great things have happened with my work lately. As if things weren´t going well already, my business partner and I were given a great offer. Should we accept it, it would mean I am financially better off than I could have ever dreamed of. We are discussing the terms the next week but it looks like we will accept. W came home while I was on the phone with my business partner. After the call she asked what was going on and I explained it, she could see the excitement in my eyes. I think my hands were shaking when I hung up. The deal means not only would I earn a large sum right away, but 5-6 years from now I would receive an even larger sum which could be huge if all goes well.

She seemed happy for me but inside I was thinking "THANK GOD FOR THAT PRENUP!!!". I can not thank myself in the past more! Having that prenup has relieved me of so much stress, knowing that if we separate, she walks away with nothing. Not a single thing. No furniture, no cutlery, no decorations, nothing. I may sound cold but I don´t care. She did this to us, I will feel no remorse for her walking away with nothing.

One final thing: the therapist and W agreed that taking out the contraceptive implant could have caused the hormonal imbalance that helped cause all this. She took it out after the wedding so we can start planning for children. So we talked about it during dinner and that she should get a new one. She then said "if we decide to have kids, I can just take it out again". I was surprised to hear her say that since I thought children wasn´t something she wanted anymore. I didn´t respond but said she should get it if she thinks it will help her. This was two weeks ago but she still hasn´t made the appointment yet.