So this is a dilemma I’ve always suffered with horrendous migraines they come in batches well guess what , the batch is back .been here couple of weeks now only problem is the medication I take ,yes it kills the headache eventually but the side effects aren’t good at all . Had one come on just as I was going to bed lady night .took said medication and eventually fell asleep only problem is next morning you feel terrible ,depressed, anxiety just as though bomb drop was yesterday ,feeling down, low mood pretty terrible really . So not only have I got the emotional cycling to contend with I also have the side effects of said medication. So what’s the answer don’t take medication, suffer the migraine or take medication and feel terrible later on . Sometimes it’s so bad I feel as I felt last year . I don’t know the answer to that one I’ve tried different medications but the only one that works is the triptans ,the one I take . Personally I think I’ll have to suffer because feeling like I do is not helping my recovery . On the mlc front well W still comes round now and again picks up different things whilst theres no spewing or nastiness just normal chit chat but I do find I have some expectations which I know I shouldn’t have ,so eventually the feelings I have come back .my own fault really for having said expectations in the first place .were 14 or 15 months since bd so why am I not getting past it , will I feel like this for ever or is it a mix of medication and my own insecurity who knows . Forgive me if I’m rambling I just feel so mixed up today , fear of the migraine coming back thoughts of mlc wife constantly on my mind, fear of the future ,I don’t know maybe I’m in a big rut and I can’t see through the fog of my mind (that sounds familiar) .ive been reading lots still ,maybe a bit of mlc overload . One word springs to mind which has become a bugbear of mine REPLAY.ohh that word lol . I can sort of get a feel of how the mlc mind works with all the ups and downs I have . I know it’s a journey and a rollercoaster but sometimes I just want to get off . . anyhow enough of feeling sorry for myself keep on the path I tell myself . Happy days to you all. R678