well H is back, he texted earlier to ask if I was away or going away to our other place. I'm there now but texted back saying I was taking the kids to their things tomorrow morning. Then he asked if I had plans for Sunday and I said yes. He said he would come and see the kids then. Well good luck to him because ds2 has his own plans. I guess he's had his space and decided to take even more judging by him texting not phoning and his tone, I'll give him plenty of it. My heart was hammering every time my phone buzzed, just horrible. I'm holding onto how much I despise him for now, I won't forever but for now if he's shoving me away I'll protect myself. This is horrible.
This is punishment, Dilly. I'm not surprised it's horrible. I'm really not. But he really, really didn't like you exposing his teenage game playing to his friends - people he actually respects - when you were so worried about him. He really really cares about what others people think of him, doesn't he? And now they know his wife, the woman who knows him best, is worried about his mental state because of the selfish and erratic way he acts. And he's furious that the 'truth' is out. To him, this is probably quite similar to the way some husbands behave when their wives expose their PA to their social group. I'm not saying what you did was wrong - I would no doubt have worried and reacted in the same way - but his behaviour now is all about punishing you for that. It's very clear.
I think taking as much space away from him as you can and avoiding him as much as possible is the right thing to do. Two word answers to his texts if they are about practicalities. Be out if he comes to see the kids. Let him make his own arrangements directly with the kids - they're old enough to do that if they want to see him. He's behaved disgracefully for months and any normal person would not be responding like this. He will blame you for whatever it is he's feeling anyway, so you may as well get out of the way and let him enjoy doing that while you enjoy your fuller and saner life elsewhere.
