Dillydaff, part 6

[97Hope]

I'm late to the party, but I would suggest if you don't want H to go on holiday with you, H doesn't get to go on holiday with you...unless you plan on bringing a LOT of cake ; )

Can you try and prepare yourself for the space? Sometimes it's harder when they do dark because it feels like one more brick in the wall and it's different because when we choose to go dark, we are controlling the situation - as opposed to when they do it, we feel like they are rejecting us. Let's face it - we have been well and truly rejected. At this point if they don't call - we need to be more than ok with that! (I'm working on this, too!!)

I read about your scare when he didn't contact you. This might be a good time to remove yourself from being his check-in gal. For your sake firstly, but also, do you want him to feel like you are so concerned with his well-being that you get upset when you think he might be in trouble? Does he worry for you?
I'm not in a position to lob at 2x4 at ya - but my perspective is that this is not a good place for you to be in - where you are the one he calls when he makes it safe. Sounds cake-ey to me.

Can you take a holiday to the states and visit me? This forum is great but it would be so fantastic to have friends in person that understand what we are doing!

Keep taking care of yourself. Stay strong and put another cross through that CAGD!!