Can I play devils advocate here and say you’re being a hypocrite and are being selfish. If she stayed married to you then she would only be doing because that is what you want.
Would that make you happy? If she said you know what wolf your right I’m being selfish. I will sacrifice my happiness in the one life I have to make you happy. Even though I have zero feelings for you that a w should have for her husband and probably never will let’s stay together.
Why are you so afraid to let her go and find her happiness? She doesn’t even sound like a very nice person. There is a high probability you will find someone even better.
You will get through this it just takes some time.
From the understanding and empathetic side. LH19 those thoughts crossed my mind too. It is selfish of us to want to keep them like some caged canary. I get it. But? I guess vows are just "feelings" of the moment and subjective in these days. Like the wind. Im sorry my feelings led me married to the wrong person which I thought was the right person at the time, just like the W. And Im sorry her feelings were only temporary based on what could be provided to my W in terms of satisfaction and happiness, since all that changes over time too. I hope and pray my S1 grows up great in the years to cone as well as everyone else's kids on here going through this with their future blended families, OM/OW. After all we can all still be friends right? You know? For the children... After all of our efforts, investment, time, work, and years of our life.
I'm sorry but there is no honor. Forgiveness maybe. But there is no honor in anyone that doesn't keep their commitments. Myself included. Vows are just empty words that felt good when we were saying them. All of us probably just need to do what we need to do, and just pull the trigger on D and just let them go. Marriage needs to serious seriously be reconsidered in this day and age. I would seriously advocate against it now in western culture until it collapses, or things change.
Here's my thoughts on feelings. Im sure most will say I'm twisting scripture to suit my narrative which I probably am. Proverbs 26:28 He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But he who walks wisely will be delivered.
I may have come off as self righteous lately. But its only because what I have been focusing on. Anyway. Something from everyone here to think about.
