Please do not attempt to talk to her about the relationship. The more you attempt this, the more she's going to clam up and totally ignore you. Yes, she is zoning out and that is part of the crisis. I would suggest that you treat her as a roommate and just leave her be.
You have to remember....this is not about you...it is all about her and the inner emotional pain that she is dealing with. She would still go through this even if she were single, a nun or w/someone else. It's not you....it's her and her journey and unfortunately, she has to go through this.
Keep the focus on you and those projects that you are working on and do be sure that you do something nice for yourself along the way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
