So S school is closed for the week, therefore W has the week off. W agreed to watch S so I could work, so I had 2 interactions: pickup and drop off.
Drop off I went to Ws apartment door. She opened the door. I did not go in as I am trying to make our interactions shorter per LHs advice. She said come in, I didn’t. She then said “dumb” in regards to me not coming inside. I replied “I don’t have time I need to work”. She then said “you don’t want to come in and talk?” To which i said “no I gotta go” and left.
Pick up. She opened the door and asked me to come in because she was changing S diaper. Her mom was there and I had some brief friendly small talk with her. W mimicked something I said in a dumb voice. I replied “drop the attitude.” After this I pretty much grabbed my S and started out the door. She tried to talk to me as I was leaving to which I replied briefly because I have places to go things to do. As I was walking out the door she said, “you’re being weird. Why are you being so short with me?”. I shortly replied “I’m not.” And left.
She tries to drag me up conversations and to get me to hang around talking. She also uses S a lot as a reason for contact. Working on reducing the amount of time spent talking to her as I was advised.
After some of her rudeness and disrespect I had a thought. For the first time i had the thought “I don’t want a relationship with this person”. I get that I did things wrong in the R, but nothing significant enough to deserve this much resentment and disrespect. I loved my W when she was a caring, thoughtful and morally right person. I do not love the person she is right now. Will my old W every return? I don’t know. But if she doesn’t return, I don’t want an R with the person she had become. I had the urge to tell her that “I don’t even recognize who you’ve become”. But obviously didn’t. Thanks all.
