Letting her know we won't be friends--I have been wanting to say this to my wife as well, but I didn't know if it is part of DBing. I see know way that I could be friends with someone who abandons me. There is no way I could envision myself being friends after the pain she has put me through. Do you think I should tell her this? If so, how would you say it?
The reason why I want to say this to her is to tell her that there will be consequences to her walking away. I would hope that this knowledge could convince her to work hard to fix our marriage, because otherwise their will be consequences and these consequences will negatively affect her, me and especially our kids.
That is unfortunately not their mindset or narrative. Their narrative usually is "I am doing this because I don't know who I am, I want to get away from you, I am repulsed by you, its all your fault I feel this way, I'm doing this for the kids, and to save myself, I want to be single, I want to be free, I want to be independent, you are of no use to me anymore, IANILWYA,I want to see other men, I want to explore life, I want to take care of and love myself first, I want to pursue my worldly selfish passions, and delude myself that it is not selfish to put myself first,I want to start over, etc, etc..." It is a spirit of rebellion, lies, deception, and lack of commitment to even themselvesIMO, and they will never admit it until they fall years and years later as a result of their poor choices, deluded thinking, whimsical desires, and subjective feelings without solid values or principles.
