I know you are right. I am trying to become less dependent on my W. This is one of my 180s (for me) and GAL activities. I know this is a problem.
I am trying to pursue less, but I struggle with this too. I have stopped saying I love you. I have stopped any physical touching. But I still set up date nights and family outings. I still ask if she wants to watch a TV show before bed. 75% of the time she does. We are probably in the friend zone. It is better than being in mortal combat, but living in the same house makes it difficult to stop playing house.
