AS, you asked what I mean by living my life for her. I love myself and have separate interests, but I do feel that to a great degree I live my life for her. She has always been so important to me. Like I have said before, I have always put her on a pedestal. While there is a grain of truth in her recreation of what I have done wrong in our marriage, for the most part she is conveniently forgetting about all the other great stuff I have done.
I know I have to love myself and rediscover this love. I need to rediscover life, and in fact since the BD, I feel like I am living so much more purposefully. I am no longer skating through life. I am thinking nonstop about myself, what I enjoy, what I want out of life, what I want for my family. But I am also obsessing about my W. I just love her so much, even if she is being a witch to me right now.
I think that it is harder for me to GAL while living with my wife. It is hard to put the old way of life aside. Everything still seems so ordinary except fo the BD. She has no clue that I am crying every day, and we live our family life like it is one happy family as always. CRAZY existence.
