Ballast, it sounds like you are Plan B, not to an OM but to her work. My GF did something similar to me early in our R, we had a conversation about it and she told me that maybe I should break up with her. So I did. I just wasn't going to be anyone's Plan B after S and D from my XW. When GF found herself on the receiving end of that she had a sudden epiphany and begged me to take her back, promised things would be different, etc. And they were, as I mentioned before we don't see each other a lot but she made a lot more effort after that breakup (which was about 2 years ago I think) and continues to do so. That would be my advice to you. You're giving her too much power, telling her to break up with you? Don't give her all the power in the R. If you aren't happy with things then tell her sorry but either things change or you are ending it. Life is too short to settle for a mediocre relationship, especially after everything we've all been through.
