I don’t think she is a WW, though. I feel like I have to trust her, even though there are many signs she’s a WW.
What are some of the things you feel you must trust her?
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I told her that I demanded respect no matter what, whether in person or on webchat. She would speak down to me, roll eyes or make faces when I spoke, showing no respect at all. Though, I do seem to think that has changed or is changing.
Why are you involved in the web chat? Isn't that when she talks to your son, or vise versa? Why can't it just be her and your son communicating?
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I would never tell her anything about tough love. I feel like she wouldn’t feel that tough love if I did. I also hope you will find time to talk to me more about tough love. I think she could use it!
I get the feeling that you don't fully understand tough love. And, if you believe she is a WAW instead of a WW, then why would you need to apply tough love?
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What are some consequences of a spouse that shows disrespect?
First of all, the two of you are physically separated. It comes right under getting a divorce. So, about the most you can do is protect yourself from disrespect. You must look at it as protecting yourself......instead of issuing consequences to her. If she is screaming, calling you names, cursing over the phone......then tell her you will disconnect the call if she doesn't talk to you respectfully. Same would go for web chat, or whatever type of communication. You don't have a discussion about it beforehand or afterwards. If she starts showing disrespect, you just tell her that you won't continue the call if she can't continue respectfully.
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We are already barely speaking, except to talk abut our son. We don’t live together and we don’t see each other, except to webchat.
So, what are some ways she shows disrespect?
How much do you feel MC is helping? Is this more of an opportunity where you get to see her in person and talk about the MR? Does the counselor give the two of you assignments, or is it just talking in the sessions?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
