Here's an update to my sitch - quite a bit has happened since my last post.
After I confronted wife about her EA a couple of weeks ago I sensed a change in her. Contrary to DB techniques and advice, I laid it all out in a R talk several days later. I asked for 1 year of effort to be "all in" for our marriage. She said she had to think about it. Almost a week went by without an answer but her actions were telling me that she wanted to move forward with an attempt at R - spending time together on the weekends and planning a family trip together for the 4th. Finally she told me last week that she "thinks she wants to work on the marriage" but she is scared. She thinks we need to both continue to work on ourselves in IC and then eventually MC, I agree. Right now we have agreed to "date" and try to rebuild trust and connection, I know this is going to be hard.
On Saturday we got a babysitter and went out together for the evening. We had a great time until the end - we started talking about the R and our friends opinions, etc. One of the things I'm going to have to get past is the hurt of her EA - previously I was very "emotionally unavailable" so I thought it would be a good idea to open up about how I'm currently feeling about it. I told her I can't be "all in" if she is continuing to text the OM, she said that he has texted her once since our R talk and she did not respond. I started to press for more details on the EA, she didn't want to give them and I said I need to know more in order to move past it. She said it was too soon to be discussing this, I disagreed and everything spiraled down from there - a great night ended in a fight.
We discussed it the next morning as I apologized for continuing to press after she said no, she reiterated that she's not texting with him anymore and I agreed to not bring it up again until we are both in a place where we can agree to discuss it. Hopefully not too much damage was done.
So I don't think I'm quite at the piecing stage but certainly not DBing anymore either. I'm looking for advice from others that have been at this stage on how to move forward, maybe Steve85? I'm very thankful that there seems to be a chance for our marriage but things are so fragile that I want to make sure I do everything right to give us the best chance of R.
Appreciate any advice others can give who have been through this.
