Making the best of the mess.

[97Hope]

Hope, I am a conflicted optimist too. I always think that things are getting better between my wife and me, and then we go to MC and she tells the counselor that nothing is getting better. Then I am crushed. I have been stopping the MC sessions, but without them I never know if things are getting better or I am just being delusionally optimistic.

When you stop wondering if they notice and just do it - you will be in a much better place. Another Stander taught me that.

I think it's good that you quit the MC sessions. They were not helping IMO. I think IC is where it's at and from what I've noticed, MC just gives them a box to check that they "tried everything" and/or gives them a venue to justify their actions.

Trust me - if you are changing your W will notice, but she won't say either way and it is more attractive if you don't worry if she's noticing. Confidence is sexy!! Are you getting better? Focus on that. You won't get smashed that way.