So so new to this :(

[Nyla79]

DnJ, I would have thought you are working in some kind of social field, helping people. Maybe a therapist or something. You have such way with words and helping people see clearer. You definitely keep my lights on and push back my darkness. <3


My H came to my hometown for work so I asked if we could see each other, because we have to pay bills and such again. I just came back from meeting with him. It was a weird meeting. He seemed quite sad and tired, whereas I was being very upbeat and casual. I told him we need to talk about alimonies and assets and such, and he again said that we could just keep everything together. I said of course we could, but I don’t think we should.


I told him I want the summerhouse, the boat and the boat trailer, he can have the house we own (The summerhouse is so important to him, well to us, but more so to him). I also told him that now the clock is ticking on our divorce and on the 27th of December he can file for the final divorce. He commented “So you returned the papers” I said yes, even though I didn’t. They were handed to me by the court officer, so I couldn’t refuse them anymore. But now he thinks I’m ready for divorce. I don’ know if that’s good or bad.


As I was calmly talking about the assets and the divorce, he was visibly holding back tears. I pretended not to notice. When I told him I was going to ask for full custody because of his travelling and such, just on paper, he asked if I was going to stay in Spain. I told him it was my intention. He was having hard time talking because he was so emotional. (He is not an emotional man usually)


He then told me that he has been offered a job that would make him travel a lot more. He told me that I’m the only person he’s told this, even the OW does not know. (I think he was trying to get a reaction from me) I asked if it was what he wanted? And he said that he doesn’t know what he wants anymore. That it is hard to figure it out. What you want, I asked and he said yes. I said you should try to figure it out, it’s so important. Then I encouraged him to take the job, as it is the kind of job he’s been wanting to have for a long time. I think he was surprised by my reply. Earlier I have always said to him that I wouldn’t want him to take that kind of a job while the kids are still at home. Now it really doesn’t matter.

I feel the meeting went well, I think he really feels that I have detached, which I hope gives him the freedom he’s been wanting to have. I also think that living with this OW and the kids rejecting him for it, is bringing him down.

I told him that the kids do not want to meet her, and that he needs to respect that. He said he knows, and he will not try force it upon them. I said they need time. So hopefully this will not be a problem. I was wearing a dress and I could see him looking at my legs and at me when he thought I wasn’t watching. I’m not reading anything into this, as I know better. But he was different than what he has been the last times I’ve seen him.

Being at home has been so hard, but it has given me so much strength. I can face anything and I know I will weather this storm too, not matter how it ends. (This is how I feel tonight)