Dillydaff, part 6

[97Hope]

big hugs, Dilly. I'm sorry you had such a rough go. Sometimes I go to places where I have a bad memory and try and create a better memory. For instance, I crashed a couple of weeks ago at an old apartment complex. I was alone and I had a rough day or two, but I worked through some feelings. I was able to look at my past behavior and realize that I have grown and I am not the same person I was back then. I prayed, accepted God's forgiveness for my past sins and then just refused to stay there, emotionally, but first I accepted it and processed it. Previously, I believe I would just stuff it and try to move on.

My point is, now that you are aware of a trigger, you can put yourself in control of it. Could you do some reading on how to deal with triggers? BD is just a huge ball of hurt that we have to unwind, grieve the losses and continue to move forward.

I hope you don't continue to be embarrassed, I know you are a Brit, so that might be impossible. ; ) But you have been - literally - pulled through a ringer and are using this time to grow. Focus on that, not on your emotions. Glad you are mostly happy with everything. I'm hopeful that you will be totally happy as you get better at detachment etc.

You are amazing at GAL! I'm envious!! I'm still working in the yard as my GAL activity! lol