I don't see how people can view important people in their lives as disposable. I could never do that to anyone.
Its quite simple actually. Its because you are no longer important. They feel you didn't treat them as important when the M was still alive and somewhat healthy. Whether it is their feelings, and it is completely untrue, or their are partial half truths, mixed in with half lies of disillusionment. It is still their truth. Remember. Although we think we are right in our perceptions (Currently we are because we want to reconcile, and have learned what is right. .) We have to remember that for every finger we point at someone there are 3 pointing back at us. So examine carefully, acknowledge their patterns as well as our own. Its not that we are disposable to them, its that they are moving on. I know it violates our strongly held convictions of "For better for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, till death do us part."
Ask any WAH/WAW if they meant their vows, and they will most likely say that they meant it then, what no longer means now because their circumstances and feelings have changed. ? They have difficulties committing to other people and keeping them as well as difficulty committing to themselves.
I think it is the nature of a depressed person to view some people close to them mistakingly as disposable. I don't think they even see it that way. But we do because we are on the receiving end. They are just unhappy, subjected to circumstances, deceived by their feelings, and want to escape or pursue outside worldly, natural means of happiness, pleasure, purpose, independence, freedom, and escape. You see? They are in a spiritual prison. They think along the lines of. "If only I obtain my freedom, my independence, my next beau, my next R, my next achievement, my next goal, my next purpose, my next chapter of my life?" They won't ever see what they are doing through the lens of selfishness, they will always see it through the lens of self-improvement, and that is fine. Self care is fine within the right context. But their feelings change direction like the wind at any hour, and we must acknowledge this, recognize it, and let go of our death grip on it. Some do care if we hurt, but 99% of the time they care more about how they are going to save themselves, before they consider, sacrifice, care, and understand others. They have to fall to ever repent, so let them fall.
