Hmm, ok, so yesterday was a much better day and I've been thinking about my emotional meltdown and strategies for avoiding any more of these. 1. Don't drink wine when I see H. And drink nothing at all on an empty stomach. I've hardly drunk anything lately and no wine so I've been pretty good at moderating my alcohol intake recently, dumb slip-up 2. Take care of myself when I'm feeling work stress. Meditation/yoga/a short walk/a swim. I need to look after myself better when I know I'm stressed, even if I don't feel like I have time (I exercise but that's not enough clearly) 3. Some early nights, my sleep has been erratic and I can't cope with sleeplessness, the hormones already make that hard enough 4. Eat properly, I keep missing meals because I have so much on. I make healthy choices when I do eat but it's too erratic and again does me no good
Yesterday I had a run and chat and lunch with friends. It was good but I was feeling a bit fragile still. And when they discussed their families I found it really hard. I met ds1 and H at a restaurant briefly to pick up my computer from ds1, H was unfriendly after my previous night's meltdown, even though I had rung him in the morning to apologise (really, it was on me, he wasn't great to me but it was mostly my flashbacks). He wouldn't give me a hug so I hugged ds1 and left.
Then I went to a group which meets to work in a pub. I like this group. I never mention my H and my kids only a bit (they are all childless). I enjoyed this a lot, we got work done and also had some silly chat. I will go to this group more often, it was nice to escape from thoughts of my life. Then I got the train home, feeling very embarrassed about my previous night's blubbing on the train. I bought a couple of new books and started one on the train. I will try reading more, it's relaxing even though I struggle for time.
This weekend I have a weekend in the office working on getting stuff done (it's a group thing). Lots of productivity for me, and hopefully by the end I will be tired but have a big chunk of work done so I can relax more next week as I have lots of GAL stuff and kid stuff to fit in. My life is full but I'm mostly pretty happy with it.
