I think she does actually want to reconcile. I just don't know if I can get past the gory details.
I'll see what she does. She said in MC that she moved out because she thought that's what I wanted and that I'd never give her a chance. I stated that while I don't like it, and obviously I don't like any of this, I need time to think. She said the ball is in my court, at which point the MC told her actually the ball is in her court to understand the complete destruction her affair has caused. Of course, the stuff I did (valid) came up but we all agreed the affair is not my fault and that she made the choice. She seems to be owning it, and I own whatever I did in the sense that, should we try, I will address those things, and in fact, she agrees that I already have (180s in the background).
It went okay, she was lovey after. I stayed stoic. She slept on the couch and made me coffee this morning.
I want her, but I dont know if I should. The anger today has been off the charts but I'm keeping it to myself. Helping her haul a mattress over tonight.
I think its going to take a lot more action than making you coffee, and being "lovey" from an affair reserved for two people on your anniversary. Be careful with the power game although it is in your favor. Do not be deceived. Expectation are different for different people. Although we are not mind readers. A good tree is judged by its fruit, and its actions. (That also applies to us as well. If we were made aware of our short comings in the M and refused to correct it. Our actions have to have meaning, and not our words.)
