She (bleeped) him on our wedding anniversary. He came in her. How can I ever respect myself if I stay?
That's messed up. I imagine you're in a world of hurt, and maybe you won't forgive her. I hope you take the time/space you need to decide what to do next with confidence.
I think she does actually want to reconcile. I just don't know if I can get past the gory details.
I'll see what she does. She said in MC that she moved out because she thought that's what I wanted and that I'd never give her a chance. I stated that while I don't like it, and obviously I don't like any of this, I need time to think. She said the ball is in my court, at which point the MC told her actually the ball is in her court to understand the complete destruction her affair has caused. Of course, the stuff I did (valid) came up but we all agreed the affair is not my fault and that she made the choice. She seems to be owning it, and I own whatever I did in the sense that, should we try, I will address those things, and in fact, she agrees that I already have (180s in the background).
It went okay, she was lovey after. I stayed stoic. She slept on the couch and made me coffee this morning.
I want her, but I dont know if I should. The anger today has been off the charts but I'm keeping it to myself. Helping her haul a mattress over tonight.
Last edited by oops13; 06/28/1908:36 PM.
May: discover PA April: MC pending IC, back in MBR, discover EA March: different bedrooms, IC Jan 19: ILYBINILWY
I think she does actually want to reconcile. I just don't know if I can get past the gory details.
I'll see what she does. She said in MC that she moved out because she thought that's what I wanted and that I'd never give her a chance. I stated that while I don't like it, and obviously I don't like any of this, I need time to think. She said the ball is in my court, at which point the MC told her actually the ball is in her court to understand the complete destruction her affair has caused. Of course, the stuff I did (valid) came up but we all agreed the affair is not my fault and that she made the choice. She seems to be owning it, and I own whatever I did in the sense that, should we try, I will address those things, and in fact, she agrees that I already have (180s in the background).
It went okay, she was lovey after. I stayed stoic. She slept on the couch and made me coffee this morning.
I want her, but I dont know if I should. The anger today has been off the charts but I'm keeping it to myself. Helping her haul a mattress over tonight.
I think its going to take a lot more action than making you coffee, and being "lovey" from an affair reserved for two people on your anniversary. Be careful with the power game although it is in your favor. Do not be deceived. Expectation are different for different people. Although we are not mind readers. A good tree is judged by its fruit, and its actions. (That also applies to us as well. If we were made aware of our short comings in the M and refused to correct it. Our actions have to have meaning, and not our words.)
That's what i feel too. I cant really imagine what she *could* even do that would let me know shes genuine. Shes certainly owned up to it, her IC said she had been working towards confessing. I just dont trust words anymore.
May: discover PA April: MC pending IC, back in MBR, discover EA March: different bedrooms, IC Jan 19: ILYBINILWY
Still separated, still lip service, still very little action on her part to make me feel like she wants the marriage and isn't just playing nice to keep me from exposing more or something. We talk and I see her from time to time but I don't expect much. The going story is "shes working on herself" but I can't help but think that's just an excuse/stalling. I'm pretty disappointed in it all honestly but not surprised. So I'll just keep thinking and continuing to live in the rubble where my life used to be.
Last edited by oops13; 07/25/1909:31 PM.
May: discover PA April: MC pending IC, back in MBR, discover EA March: different bedrooms, IC Jan 19: ILYBINILWY
