Married couple from Scandinavia

[BenB]

Journal -

Had another MC session today. Therapist asked W if there is anything she would like to talk about on today´s session.

W: Nothing that comes to mind, everything feels well at the moment. Perhaps I´ll think of something as we start talking.

Therapist then asks me the same. I answer that pretty much the same, I mention that we went to Paris and a little bit about what we talked about. I did mention that we had a lot of R talks and they seemed good although I had so much wine that I wish I remembered more. This seemed to surprise my W at first, she added that she remembers everything. She almost looked slightly concerned so I added that I remember most of it. I do remember that no conversation was bad in any way and I mentioned this as well. W looked less concerned after that.

Then I added that lately I´ve started to feel happy about things, non relationship related things. For months I felt no joy about anything even though great things were happening in my business life so I told the therapist that I´m happy to feel happy again. I also mentioned that W had said in Paris that she thinks things might work out between us now, that she feels more positive about that. But that that´s the one thing I didn´t feel anything about.

Me: It´s positive that she is saying that of course but that doesn´t make me happy like I thought such a statement would when this all started.

Before therapist answers, W jumps in -

W: That´s probably because you don´t want to get hurt, you probably have your guard up subconsciously.

Me: Maybe

Therapist asks W what made her want to go on that trip:

W: He mentioned it first and I said I had to think about it. But the next day, he didn´t bring it up again. If he had done that I don´t know if I would have wanted to go. I like to be able to decide, with no pressure. If he would have started talking about fun things we can do there, trying to convince me, I would have felt pressure immediately. This all feels just like when I was on sick leave for burn out depression. I couldn´t say no to people because I was afraid of their disappointed reaction which resulted in taking on too much work. So when there was no pressure about going to Paris I felt like I wanted to go. Same as when we were in London last month, he asked me but said if I don´t come, he´ll go with one of his friends. That way, I knew I wouldn´t disappoint him by saying no and this made me want to go.

After this we agreed to take a months break from MC. When the session ended, I thought to myself that we have gotten something out of this but for a solution based therapist, she hasn´t exactly done much more than listen to us talk. I thought we would be hearing more suggestions from her on things to do.

On our way home, we stopped by a food court to have dinner. I asked her how her day at work was and we spoke a little about that. She then asked how my work has been lately and after talking about that for a few minutes, we touched on the subject of my next business trip. I will be leaving for Athens, Greece on July 12 and return on July 15. I don´t know if this was a good idea but I casually said "you should come". She looked at me and said "I can´t, I have work" to which I added that my flight leaves at 5pm that Friday so she would only have to take Monday off from work. I quickly moved on to the next subject and we went home to watch some TV together.

Tomorrow, her parents come to visit.