I asked if all this is what she wanted, and she said no, but that shes a train wreck, that I deserved better. I told her I agreed that I deserve better and will not share a wife, and that I didn't understand how someone I'd adored could cause immeasurable pain.
Oops. As in oops, not your name. This is not going to help you. Remember, she already BD'd you. She already had one or both feet out the door. Most WAWs want to minimize the pain their LBH endures. They know they have to hurt you to leave you, but they don't really want to devastate you. This is her language here. "I still want to leave, but I don't want to hurt you. So I am leaving because of MY mess, not because of you."
Originally Posted by oops13
At this point, she started apologizing for hurting me, told me she knows her words have no meaning now, and that she doesn't recognize herself anymore.
This proves what I am saying.
Has she said she wants to stay? (Don't ask her that by the way. Asking her if this is what she wanted was a mistake.)
Her moving to an apartment is your answer. If she wanted to stay she'd start working to stay. She is sorry she got caught, not that she cheated. In fact, do you really think she will stop with OM?
Believe it or not oops, a lot of WAWs/WWs actually are relieved when their LBH finds out about their A. Why? Because now it is out in the open. They don't have to hide or pretend. They can now move forward with Plan A full speed ahead. But they don't want to completely destroy you in case the need to fall back on Plan B.
Instead of "Is this what you want?" to "I am looking for apartments.", how about "Oh, do you need me to help?" "Can I help you pack?" "How quickly can you be out?"
Do not let her cakewalk. Do not let her hedge. Do not let her use you. DO NOT BE PLAN B.
Last edited by Steve85; 06/27/1904:55 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
