WW wants to reconcile (thread 3)

[oops13]

Previous thread:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2847953#Post2847953

I have a lot to update, and I'll probably miss a lot of it. I am a mess right now with indecision, hurt, etc. Essentially, I've been playing detective for so long that it's just now hitting me.

I blew the affair up this weekend. I told her I knew, without giving out details. Then I went to sleep in the spare bedroom. When I woke up she was gone. I spent the next day sitting with my family in a catatonic state. I texted to let her know I fed the dogs and threw in that I hoped she was okay. She replied that she was okay and looking for an apartment. I asked if all this is what she wanted, and she said no, but that shes a train wreck, that I deserved better. I told her I agreed that I deserve better and will not share a wife, and that I didn't understand how someone I'd adored could cause immeasurable pain.

At this point, she started apologizing for hurting me, told me she knows her words have no meaning now, and that she doesn't recognize herself anymore. She will give me any space I need. I told her she didn't have to hide and she said she will be around however much I want. Her words have shown remorse - she owns that it was her choice, she understands if I want to divorce her but she wants to reconcile. She confessed the gory details and told me all the hard stuff. Shes spent the last few days trying to move to her apartment and has been very remorseful.

I dont know what I'm really doing right now. I'm feeling it all for the first time now that it's in the open. Her stuff is in boxes. I love her but she has to be out for a while to let me think.