Making the best of the mess.

[97Hope]

No is a complete sentence!!

You both are so right, as women we are told to be there, be sweet, be a lady...etc. But you know my friend completely accepted my 'no' and then asked if we might go for a movie sometime. I was elated. Sometimes a no is met with hostility (they feel rejected, I get it) but in good, healthy, honest relationships 'no' is not only accepted, it's a form of comfort because you never have to guess with people.

H was here when I got home today. Met me outside as I pulled in and unloaded the groceries for me and then continued to flirt with me the entire evening. I strung him along and thoroughly enjoyed myself. He left and gave me the biggest, longest hug he has given me in 2 years.

I am not reading into it. I'd like to think he missed me while he was gone, or he could really enjoy the smell of sawdust, sweat and feed. lol It was nice to be pursued, not gonna lie. He asked me if I would lay with him in the hammock, I said sure and he picked me up like a bride. We lay there for a while. Not really talking, just being.

He is physically VERY drawn to me. I try not to think too much on it and just enjoy it. I feel good tonight. He left a little while ago. It's strange, but it's like my new normal. I asked him if he wanted some fruit because I didn't want it to go bad and I'm the only one who eats it and he said he'd take some with him tomorrow.

The trick to this, for me, is having ZERO expectations for him. I've said it before and I really want to emphasize it because it has helped me. What a terrific day that I was able to spend with an old friend. I don't know if/when I will see 'him' again, but I sure did like the visit today. Tomorrow, who knows? I have plans so I don't know if I will be here or not. Depends on what I want to do. I'm feeling like no matter what, I'm in a great place.