(((Hope))) You give me too much credit, I promise! I only know what I went through and I read here. Sadly, there are so many commonalities: I can read a LBW thread and just know what her H is up to, and I am usually right :-(
How are you today? How are you feeling and what is changing for you now? ... I hope the LBWs are reading along. I want them to see that when you learn that your H not only left you --but leaves you for OW -- it does change things. The betrayal of a man taking our love and giving it to another cuts deep, and especially when we are left at home with THEIR children ....
He might start to do the distancer/pursuer dance as he feels you pulling back. Just continue on your own path forward! Only show him your strong self. Let him be and he will fall on his own in one way or another, and the A rarely works out. In time, this will fall apart. One day, he will see things more clearly. It might be many months, or even years, but the truth (his and yours) will shine through. ... You don't actually want THIS man right here, even if it doesn't feel that way ..
What else can I say to you? It just svcks. The worst pain! I don't even know how I got through it. But the thing is -- I did. In fact, when I forced myself to GAL, I did make some nice and comforting memories in a terrible time. I am now grateful for those -- and I learned who my true friends are. We had some awesome road trips! I have amazing women in my life that stand by me.
This might not matter to you right now, but I will say it anyways because I really mean it. If you can trust that things will be okay eventually (with or without him), if you can learn to be independent and strong during this craziness, and if you can give yourself the love/care/attention you deserve, then one day, you might be able to say that all of this pain was worth it. I am getting there, Hope. I never thought I would. This has nothing to do with my H coming back. He could come/go tomorrow, and I know I would be just fine. But the strength, resolve, and integrity I have gained in fighting my way out of this h3ll hole, is something that no one can take away from me. Ever. ... I like myself more now because of it.
On another note, without sharing too much, maybe a hint, where about/approx are you? I have a feeling we are close.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela