Am I doing this right??

[BluWave]

I agree with LB; you probably know the right answer somewhere in your head and heart. If it was a 180 for you, then it seems like the right move. I find it hard to advise people on the specifics because I cannot take into account the nuances that exist in their interpersonal dynamic. Sometimes these subtle differences between our sitches can get lost here; because let's face it, none of us really know each other, our personalities, details in our M histories, etc. My advice is slightly generic based on DB principles, and of course it is biased due to my own sitch.

My best advice I have, is that when in doubt of what to do, less is always more, and no response at all is better than the one you cannot decide on. Second, when deciding on how to respond, put your head above your heart. Why? Because your heart is broken right now! When we respond based on emotion, it is often coming from a place of fear. It is also from a place of expectations. It is much safer to respond using your head -- the logic without emotions -- and your most reasonable self knows this if you can access that.

When I didn't know how to respond to H after DB, I gave myself some time. I learned that there were a few things I did that led to me feeling better about my responses. Those things were 1. giving time in formulating the response, 2. responding in a genuine way and without expectations of how he should receive it or respond back, 3. making sure there was zero cake involved, 4. not showing my cards (emotions, thoughts or plans), 5. Taking back my integrity, not being petty, so that I could hold my head up high and have less regrets. ... maybe see if this works for you next time.

So he is texting you more now? Of course he is. WHs are so predictable. Classic. SMH.

Blu