These little opportunities can easily slip by, especially when involved in the conversation. Like anything, practice makes perfect, there will be many more opportunities I think.
You are correct with only considering the signs (positive or negative) valid for that moment. Acknowledging and validating his feelings show you hear and are listening. Praise the good stuff and he just might inch forward a bit, because he is ready. It helps to “see” him as a small boy looking for praise for his good deed. Along the lines of reinforcing good behaviour and ignoring bad.
The big thing is accepting him for who he is, which I think you are doing a wonderful job of. The MLCer wants to feel safe and accepted. Once safe they might just grow up. Some of then in their looking for their safe haven runaway and cease contact with their former life. Others, like you H, seemed to like to, and want to, talk and keep in contact. It really depends on the person and whatever demons they are battling.
Your progress is still paramount during all this. Don’t worry he sees you and the role model you are, so keep moving forward and let him catch up.
DnJ
Last edited by DnJ; 06/26/1910:32 PM.
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
