Thanks much for the input you guys. I love my kids with all my heart and want them to have amazing lives, and a D will not stop that from happening. We have many incredible adventures coming up and lots of memories to be made. And day to day life is going to be solid. Just gotta take a few lumps here and there, that's all.
On that note as an update my new landlord advises my new place will be ready at the end of July. My L and W's L are putting the finishing touches on a separation agreement that must be signed before I exit the premises. Main issues are 1) house must be listed for sale or W's dad must cut me a check for $x; 2) must agree to 50/50 custody; 3) I keep all my investments and no alimony or child support; 4) even split of everything in the house; 5) W takes over 100% of all payments for the house, I am free and clear of it. W has seen at least the first draft of the agreement that my L drew up so she knows where I stand and I told her point blank I am not moving out with the agreement, I will get my deposit back on the rental and just stay put. My L from talking with her L says we are going to reach a deal, and I trust their word.
I know there has been a lot of talk on the board about not moving out and I AGREE in general. I look at my sitch in phases regarding housing:
Phase 1: is BD and shortly thereafter - no way was I moving out, not even going to leave the MBR.
Phase 2: a span of up to about 5 months after BD - still staying put, crunching numbers on whether I could keep the house, not committing to anything, deflecting all attempts at detailed discussions, the "i'll have to think about that" phase LOL.
Phase 3: 5+ months after BD - conceding it will be financial suicide to keep the house, developing strategy on how to proceed, setting pre-requisites for a move out, looking at property, negotiating terms and planning the transition. I am late in this phase now, working on month 9 post BD.
I wish I could afford the house because I would be staying. I envy those of you who didn't budge. But I am going to end up with a nice payday whether we sell or I get bought out, so that will ease the pain a little...:)
