Whirlwind of Hurt 7

[Twofeet]

What’s new TF?

Everything....

Work is going well this season. My consulting side gig is bringing in a little extra as well. I have some irons in the fire for expanding that as well as some other business opportunities in the next 3 years. The volunteer work I do related to my job and industry has been going well and has provided a lot of good connections.
My social life has been going well and I have been added to a couple new social circles/ groups of friends. I have some vacations lined up this winter as well.

I hit my weight goal of getting up to 185lbs a while back. I hit a hard plateau so I switched programing that now has me lifting 4 days a week. Last time I weighed myself I was 187lbs and my new target weight is 195 lbs. Because I am busy with work I only have time for hot yoga about once a week. I also run once a week for cardio.


I have been dating through online and through friends. Dating can be kind of meh in my opinion. If you recall my XW was my HS sweetheart and the only person I had been with. So out of my marriage I was basically a virgin to the dating game. Well I found out that if you are a man and you have your act together with minimal to no baggage women line up. Not only that, but I was surprised how easily they want to sleep with me on the first or second date. There is definitely a hookup culture in the age ranges that I date in. I also date 2 to 3 ladies at a time as I have time, currently since I have been so busy I have weeded it down to 1 lady at a time. Before that there was a 29 y/o woman I was dating for a bit that I really liked and we had potential. However, I tend to be a good listener and people like to open up to me. She ended up having more baggage than an airport carousel. When she tried to compare notes all I have is that I am divorced with 3 young well behaved kids, if you want to call that baggage. She told me she was garbage and I deserve someone better than trash like her.... to use her words. She ended it which was fine because her baggage was very serious and I would have ended it either way. Fortunately, from what I gather she stopped dating and is getting help. My thoughts on dating are that I basically will give all walks of life a first date if they seem interesting, and boy have I dated some interesting women. However, the vast majority of women aren't worth a second date. I think its going to take a lot of digging to find anyone worth a serious relationship. Don't settle its not worth it.

My kids are doing well. Glad school is out and the XW has been giving me extra time with them so she can do her thing which is more than likely OM. I have them about 60% of the time, and we have been spending the summer swimming, fishing, and just having a lot of fun. XW has been bringing OM and his teenage boy around the kids and taking kids to OM house. She broke her rule about waiting 6 months and meeting the other parent first. However, I don't want to meet OM. Its funny because when I confronted her about it she said there was no rule, but she still wanted to meet the woman end up with and be able to have convos with her about our kids....LOL. I told her no that wouldn't be happening. Right or wrong I told the kids the reason why mommy divorced daddy was because mommy wanted OM to be her boyfriend. The two youngest didn't get it but D8 did. I let XW know what was said and of course we had words. She denied everything and after I confronted her with some of my evidence she just said I don't give a $h1t what you think anymore. I let her know that was the last time we will ever speak of our former R again. She of course lied to the kids and said OM was just a friend and I don't know what I am talking about. She felt guilty though and bought their love with gifts. That is her usual m.o.... other than that its her usual PITA manipulation and stunts she pulls on me which is getting old. It doesn't work on me despite it being annoying and frustrating. Fortunately, we haven't had much interaction out side of the OM issue. Oh and a side note. I still have a good relationship with XW parents and sister. It sounds like XW had a falling out with her parents and sister, but I don't know why and I don't ask. I don't share XW dirty laundry with anyone. Not my farm, not my fight.

For those who end up D like me you will get to a point when you can look back. You should own your side of the fence because you aren't perfect and you made mistakes. That being said you can see their side of the fence a lot better and have a better perspective of your shared past. I keep learning or seeing new things I never realized and I keep coming to the conclusion that I can't believe the amount of abuse I put up with. My family came very close to cutting ties to XW and I when we were in our MR and now I see why.