(((Hope))) HUGS!!! BIG HUGS! I feel you, sister! I have been here before and it is soooo confusing and a whirlwind of emotions ... We are all here for you and in your corner. You are not alone. It hurts to know the truth, but I believe it will eventually set you free. I am glad that you now know. There are others here that do not know, or may never know, but I am certain there are OW in their sitches too. And it really does change how we want to handle things when we have been betrayed in this way . ....
I have so much I want to tell you, but I am having a busy morning at work and can't sit at the computer. I will do as soon as I can. Hopefully in a few hours or right after work.
In the mean time. Read my words, please! I have been in this same spot.
- This will not break you; you are a strong woman and mother. You are going to come out of this stronger than before with him or without him. I promise you!
- This is not your fault and you have not caused this. All Ms and Rs have issues that come and go. None of this ever justifies or excuses the choice he made to have an A and to leave his family. He is making bad choices.
- You do not have to make any sudden moves or changes. You may want to, but don't. Wake up every morning and read Sandi's rules and then read them at bed. Try your best to follow them -- trust those words -- they are your guide. They will preserve your integrity.
- Start tip toeing back from him and remove yourself. LESS you do or say is MORE. Do not share your thoughts, feelings or plans with him. Keep that ALL safe to your vest. Share only with your close and very trusted IC, friends and family. If he tries to talk, explain or push you -- mostly listen and say very little.
- If you are in a corner and are forced to talk, you can say. "I have a lot to think about right now." "I need to focus on what is best for me and D3 right now." "I am not ready to talk about this right now." Poker face. EXIT convo. It is better that you take a giant step back from him now. You can also have all communications be in email about D and finances.
- I promise things will not stay this way.
- It hurts like h3ll. The worst pain. Cry, scream, yell. Let is out. Only with your safe people.
- Then you allow a break from the pain. You can stick it in a jar and shove it in the back of the cupboard and come back to it. Then, you take care of you.
- Most important now. SELF CARE. GAL and do what you need to do to love yourself and cherish yourself right now. No one else can heal this but you. Start today. Learning to love and heal yourself is the greatest silver linining in this cr-p situation.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
