KML - thanks for the reach out. Yes, I am playing a lot of pickleball and really enjoying it!
As for the rest of my life, I am okay. Now that I am through it all, I have lots of “wait, did that really happen?!?!” moments. There were some real doozies in my MLC story.
Actually, recently I kind of lashed out at my ex for that letter he wrote to me about the ways I could fix the marriage. For those of you who remember, mine was a writer and one of the things he wrote was a three page letter detailing ways I could fix the marriage. It really hit me how sick the letter was. How sick you have to be to write something like that and think it’s okay to treat someone that way. He had all sorts of physical improvements for me. But he also wanted me to be less intelligent (and he writes that!!!) and just be sexy on his arm (and he writes that, too).
It was just pathetic after nearly 20 years of marriage and pathetic that at age 50 he lacked any sort of depth. (And for those of you reading this and thinking: hmm, well maybe she gained 700 pounds and he wants back the woman he married.). I am the same size I was pre children and many people think I am in my mid thirties and I am very fit. I raise this only because it’s his very distorted view projected onto me.
Anyway, it was never something I truly addressed with him. And suddenly the anger overwhelmed me that after all I had done I would be treated with such disrespect. So I sent a text to him. I told him it was so funny what he wrote in that letter. And what a joke it all was and how truly shallow it was. He asked me to stop texting him about it. And I wrote that he shouldn’t run from it as he took so much time to write it. He should own it and not hide from it.
It felt good to address it because it was all so deeply undignified and I shouldered it all. He became a real joke of a guy. And when I really thought about what angered me, it was the duplicity. He wants to be perceived as one thing when in reality he is the opposite. And I wanted him to know I knew that about him.
I did it for me and it helped me move forward. I deserved better not because I am so great but because no woman deserves that.
How’s that for an update KML?
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
