Regarding "YOU ARE NOT FUNDING HER ANTICS, PERIOD. Stand your ground on that."
So STBX is a housewife primarily, works 1-2hrs week just for something to do. I provide everything...car, home, insurance, spending money etc. Since her mom's passing this spring she has received an inheritance ($30k in May and $50k due around November - I know this because her sister told me (not my STBX) and because she owes me for her inheritance tax ($3600)). She has no willingness to share costs on anything except a meal now and then. She did demand that home improvements be done about 2 weeks ago and we go 50/50, but has gone away with no more talk of it. I give her $1k monthly for misc. spending. I usually get all groceries and household items.