Since March, I have made a lot of progress mainly in my mindset. I am starting to be able to envision life without my wife, and it is making DBing easier. I still cry almost on a daily basis, but I no longer feel like my life is ending. When things are bad at home, I think it starts to prepare you for the next stage if that is to come. I still love my wife very much, but her selfishness is making me mad.
I still suck at DBing, but I am getting better. Being able to envision life without her, I think shows that I have made some progress in detaching. I think that I do a fairly good job of active listening every time we talk (every day). I am much better at giving her my undivided attention (this is a 180 for me). I am also starting to get a life. I have been doing a lot more with just my kids. I have really been enjoying this time. I need to start planning activities for us on the weekend, so I have more to do. My wife is a SAHM, so she doesn't feel a need to do activities during the weekend, because she can do them during the week while I am at work. I resent this very much, but it is up to me to plan my own weekends with my kids. If my wife wants to join us then great, otherwise the kids and I will have fun.
Last Sunday, I asked my wife if she wanted to go to church with me and the kids. She was sleeping and said, "Not this week Love, but maybe next week." I thought this was a good sign.
Oh well, I need to continue to study the DBing. I am getting stronger, and I thank you all for helping me get there. I am still very much a work in progress, but I do see progress.
