Emotional Affair/ Physical Affair/Imaginary Affair (And yes it has happened.) EA/PA/IA. There should be a link to all acrynoms in link Cadet provided you with. Start paying close attention to W's behaviors more than her words. But don't make yourself crazy over it. Just document it or make a mental note of it. Patterns and behaviors are going to change, and ur comes with the territory of her being done with the M. But will provide you clues as to if you are intentionally or unintentionally being manipulated to help your WAW to move into the direction SHE WANTS YOU TO MOVE IN WHICH ONLY WILL BENEFIT HER AWAY from the M. Don't help her with it but don't stand in her way either, give lots and lots if space. You may possibly start seeing a lot of selfishness on her part, or not... just trying to give you a heads up of what to anticipate it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. Keep posting on the behaviors, and also make us aware of what things you can change that you contributed to the downfall of the marriage
Another part of the story...first, some background, so about 8 years ago my wife introduced me to a musician who played small venues (dinner and music type places) and house concerts. This musician was formerly a legit rock star playing with numerous bands and has a few CDs out of his own. He is does alternative self help stuff like astrology readings etc. to help followers and provide some levity at same time. He also is a recovering alcoholic and is open about it. He is about 10-12 years older than my STBX and I. He has been divorced several times most likely due to being on the road so much. Over time we (all 3 of us) have become friends in general terms. I even had him do a few house concerts at my home. Regarding my wife, back about 8-10 years ago she a had bout with depression a d drinking where she'day around most of the day and drink 1/2 of red wine in afternoon/evening until she'd fall asleep on the couch by 8pm. This lasted for 12-16 months. Eventually she kicked the habit on her own but had support from me and our musician friend. More recently, since STBX asked for a separation, she has made two trips to visit him with our kids (but she has never even suggested that I go). She states that the purpose is so that his kids can have playmates since he lives in a remote area a d due to the fact he shares custody of kids, his kids are 4 & 8 when my kids are 8, 12 & 20.
Now to the point...I suspect she has had an EA, likely not PA, with our musician friend for many years. I'm not sure of the amount of contact (texting or calling) happening, likely not daily due to fact he lives 2.5 hours away and travels a good bit. Additionally, he plans to move to CONN soon to be closer to his kids primary home. So this situation may get interesting. Am I crazy in think like this?
When I'm not happy about it I'm not going to go nuts over it. My biggest concern is my wife making it seem that our musician friend is a 2nd dad to my kids...I wish to not confuse my kids with that BS. I'm their dad, no one else.
