My advice is to not use the word "separated". It's a word used by weak people to justify affairs bc they're too weak to keep their vows, file for D, or wait until D is final. And to answer your question, you aren't to know when the affair is over bc she is no longer yours to worry about. It's better to not ask about the affairs ever again unless she's kicking down the door trying to reconcile.
Get rid of the horse somehow, it's holding you back. And cut out the small talk, it means nothing. You seem to be pretty available to her when you should be busy doing things and not have time for her. In case you've forgotten, she is choosing others over you so why are you showing her that you'll keep coming around? What do those actions say to her?
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
