So so new to this :(

[Nyla79]

Peacetoday, I try to remain neutral, but I do think that I have failed at times. I do laugh if they say something bad about the OW if it is funny ( I know I shouldn’t)

I never let them talk badly about their father nor do I do it, but when it comes to her, sometimes I just can’t help myself. I did try to talk to the kids about her and her not necessary being a bad person but just a woman who has been fed lies to, but none of them wanted to hear that. They think she’s scum for being with a married person, which I kind of have to agree. But thank you for giving me the phrases, maybe I can try to use them when they have questions.


(((DnJ)))

I need you to sit on my shoulder and help me make sense of this all, every day. What a wonderful man you are. Your wife has to be in such a deep, deep fog if she can’t see you as the gem that you are <3

How do you read what I write and then make sense about it the way you do?
I am much calmer now. I do realize the damage has been done and there’s no point getting into a fight or confrontation about it. I loved your idea of dropping the word issue and making a boundary out of this instead.

One thing about the MLC and cruelty again when it comes to my H, he still keeps on being “nice” to me. He still doesn’t slash out on me, never talks mean to me. He’s almost like a bunny in bushes, whenever something unpleasant comes along, he hides his head and pretends he’s not responsible or doesn't see it) So all the other signs of MLC are there except for the obvious cruelty. I don’t know why… it confuses me. It’s almost like it makes me angry with him when he’s being nice to me and then I have to (again) control myself. Maybe that is some sort of manipulation too… Now I have Phil Collins song "Separate lives" playing in my head

I really like this “Stand for you”.

And the part when you quoted my own words about the crazy, blinding fog and surviving it, oh DnJ, you always bring out the epiphanies like that! (What do you do for a living?!?)