Moving past D to a stronger me (pt. 7)

[Davide]

Thanks ovr, it's interesting that the advice I get IRL is the opposite. I'll sleep on it for a few days. No rush.

Update:

I'm enjoying summer break. Lots of yoga, lots of climbing, some biking. I got out last Saturday to rock-climb outdoors for the first time ever (lead and top rope), which was utterly terrifying but also exhilarating. I also gave in and bought a used car yesterday both for the pup and so that I can drive to the mountains and visit family. I took advantage today and took her out to the dog park for the first time in ages.

There has been a lot of dating going on as well. Probably around ten first dates in the last two and half weeks. Unfortunately there hasn't been much in the way of connection. The best one was with a woman a year younger than me, who is super active but not the body type that I am most attracted to. She also has a 13 year old son, which is not what I would picture. That said, we have hit it off on two dates, have tons to talk about and seems to operate on the same wavelength. I am super hesitant to start something with a single mother unless I feel super passionate about it, because I don't want to do wrong by her. So it is a balance of just going out and enjoying myself (ourselves) and living in the moment vs. keeping an eye to the future.

I did also see my (second) professor again. We went to a minor-league ball game and watched fireworks at the end, and then ended up spending two hours walking and talking around town. It was a fun night, and when she is with me she is so positive, and so attentive - she just feels very present, which is a great quality. That said, I have dropped any expectations from that relationship, and I don't know that I see it progressing anywhere.

In a couple of days I am driving up to visit family and get a little beach time. Then I am off to Puerto Rico for a week with a good friend from South America. It will be our first time there, so it should be fun (if hot!) We'll explore the old San Juan, visit the Yunque forest, and spend a couple of days lounging on the beaches in Vieques. Following that I will have about a week back home and then I'll head off to Alaska to visit a friend who is a park ranger up there for a week. We'll camp up in Denali national park for a few nights, then head back down to Kenai Fjords, where I'll go on a 9 hour whale cruise that my friend is leading. It should be a once-in-a-lifetime type of experience!

Mentally I'm doing pretty well, though there are always some ups and downs and the grind of mediocre dates has begun to wear on me a bit. I never thought that my EW was the only woman in the world for me, but there seems to be a shortage of interesting ones down here who are buying what I am selling! I was really affected by a couple of deaths recently. A professional runner, Gabe Gruenwald, who was a US 3000m champion after battling cancer, passed away two weeks ago. She was competing in the Olympic trials in 2016 while undergoing chemotherapy with a giant scar across her torso. She had a great quote about how this wasn't the life she wanted or expected but how she was so grateful for it nonetheless. That's an attitude I am trying to embrace with daily gratitude reflections. And then I found out a week ago that a real close friend and roommate of one of my friends, and a guy who had done a fair amount of biking with my social group, was killed in a motorcycle accident two weekends ago at 30 years old. We weren't very close, but he had an ebullient personality and I always enjoyed it when he showed up for rides with us, or he was at parties that I attended. Given my own adventures on moped, it was a bit sobering.