As we continue on a path to physical separation, I am scarcer and scarcer in communications with W. Once the kids are down for the night I am out with a GAL activity 50% of the time and absorbed in a project or task if I am home. 95% of all our interactions are in front of one or both kids, and there is no nastiness coming out of her. She saves that for when we are 1 on 1, so I have all but eliminated that scenario by my scarcity and being busy busy busy.
We did have an interaction a few nights ago about selling the house, and W spewed snide commentary about my home repair skills. I told her I have no interest in listening to her insulting comments, and that we can continue the conversation at a later time when she can interact with me like an adult. I then left the room to go work on a task.
W followed me and angrily said "why are you so angry? why are you running away and hiding? you are so sensitive, you get butthurt so easily" etc etc. I thought it was funny that she was angrily asking me why I was so angry, especially when I was stone faced calm. I said "I'm not angry and I'm not butthurt, I just have enough self-esteem to not sit there and listen to you insult me. I don't have a second of time for you when you speak to me like that. Let me know when you think you can stop with the snide comments, and we can try again later."
This interaction is a great example of how W's mind works - she can say anything to me and cloak it in the "i'm just being blunt/honest/not sugar coating" excuse. She can therefore never be out of line in what she says, and if I don't like it i'm just too sensitive or butthurt. I am at the point where I find it funny in a macabre way.
