Heartbroken and Struggling - Part 2

[LB55]

I agree with Rose; validate her feelings. Doesn’t mean you agree with them or admit guilt or anything. Validation is simply hearing what the other person is saying and trying to see how they could feel that way. It is their feeling after all.

She feels that the tone of the communications and texts is what is wrong and has been wrong for a while. It’s likely not the only thing; it is however a super easy one to validate and make her feel heard and understood.

Listen to her feelings. Repeat back what you’ve heard so you’re both on the same page. Ask her if that is how she feels. Validation isn’t about you getting your feelings out there or being heard. It’s about her being heard. Please don’t listen to her and then go “but this is how I see it”. That’s the same thing as listening to her and telling her she is wrong. Her feelings are her feelings. They aren’t wrong. It’s how she feels.

Ask her what she needs from you to reduce her frustration with communication. Listen. Then give it a shot.