All good points and I understand what you mean. But I feel like I need to treat her differently based on what she is, whether a WW or a WAW. That’s what I meant.
Being so nice after 2-3 months just wasn’t getting any of her respect back. She was walking all over me and I took it because I felt wrong and was sorry for it. Then I just decided that enough was enough, so I got my balls back as Sandi would say. I am still the same person I’ve always been, it’s just that she is not.
Don’t I need to adjust my actions and communication for her changes?
I am validating more, but being very short. Where I used to be nice and understanding, now I’m being more cold and to the point. I try not to be cold, but I don’t know how to be so short and not be that way.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
A marriage is not broken down after a few months. So why expect for it to be repaired that quick?
You say you used multiple approaches and none of them “worked” you tried to be nice, you stride to be stern, etc.
How about you try to be the man you really want to be? Your wife can see through you. Multiple different approaches make you look like you are just trying to do whatever to get her back. Why would she come home to that? Something that isn’t real or sustainable?
Your best approach is to really figure out the man you want to be and become him. And maybe, just maybe, she will be interested in that guy. But even if she is seriously done, already you can make some positive changes and be the guy you want to be every day.
DB isn’t a bunch of tactics to ge the spouse to come home. It’s making changes to yourself and how you interact that are true and real and maybe the WAS will want to get on board with that. Or they won’t. But either way, you walk away a better person
