You say she is uncomfortable with conflict. How are you ay handling criticism?
I’m recovering from the need to have others perceive me as perfect, and a big part of that is validating others’ feelings about being upset with me.
Try validating without defending yourself. If you do it consistently enough, you might see a change in how she brings up issues.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16