"Trust that God will reveal what you need to know when you need to know it." That is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!!
On Friday my wife and I had a fight that was bizarre. My wife had scheduled a spa day outside the house on Friday where she got a babysitter. But, I told her on Friday that I was intending to come home from work early on Friday, so she didn't need the babysitter. This made her mad that she had to cancel the babysitter. I felt bad messing around with her plans, but I didn't know she had this day planned.
Then she tells me that she will be home at a certain time to take our son someplace, so I make plans for 45 minutes after this thinking that she would be home by then. Then I get a text stating that a friend's dad would take our son to the place to drop him and other boys off. This required me to text her back to state that I had made plans for 45 minutes after she was supposed to be home. She got mad at me via text saying that I always rush her and this is why she got the babysitter.
These texts made me mad, because I was trying to be considerate and I thought her texts were attacking me. So when she got home, I confronted her about the attacking texts, and told her that I was trying to not interfere with her schedule at all, but there was miscommunication and a series of unfortunate events that created conflict for both of us.
Later that night we went to dinner as a family and everything seemed fine. Then we got home and she was giving me the cold shoulder the rest of the night. So the next day, I asked why she was giving me the cold shoulder, and she said that me confronting her about her texts was what has been wrong about our marriage. That she is not able to ever get mad at me without me explaining why she is wrong and not validating her feelings.
We talked a long while about this incident. I still felt that I should stand up for myself, but it is clear that this ticked her off. I never attack my wife. So, when she says this is what is wrong with our marriage, I think this is crazy. Am I never supposed to defend myself? She is so uncomfortable with conflict that when there is any she attacks as opposed to nicely discussing things to explain her feelings.
I know that she feels rushed to get home all the time, and so do I. It is like we feel guilt for each other all the time, even when we aren't trying to do so. I think this is a big problem in our marriage. How do I fix this? Do you think that I can't while she isn't in a reconciling mindset yet?
I feel like I am the only one working to fix anything. She feels done, event though she says she is trying to fix things. ARRGGHH.
