How To Treat Spouse With Children

[HrtHsbnd]

Well, unfortunately I agree with you. I needed to hear you say it, though.

Originally, she told me she was going to a lawyer right after she told me ILYBNILWY and the separation. The papers that were drawn up were everything we talked about, so not bad. It still made me question why. She said I wasn’t taking her seriously without the lawyer involved.

Regardless, almost a month later I got another letter from the lawyer. This time it was about what she wanted me to sign away. I refused and went to my own lawyer. I went back home, as I wasn’t going to be pushed around. However the locks were changed.

What do you mean, prepares the way for the OM?

This guy has his own family and is much older. I also don’t know if it’s an EA or PA

I agree with everything you said at the bottom. So then what does tough love look like for a WW? How do I get her to tell me? Our MC even believes her when she says she’s not doing anything. I got he ILYBNILWY again last session, but this time told me she wants me to find someone that will make me happy. It’s just not going to be her.

It’s all just nonsensical drivel.

I also read your situation and what helped you come back, so I told her we will not be friends nor ever get back together if she decides to leave in addition to demanding her respect.

I’m following your lead on this one. Sandi. After reading your posts, I feel you’ve nailed my situation all along without you even knowning, until today.

We have always had an excellent marriage. We’ve always been so close, until the life event.
I got the ILYNILWY when she asked for a separation. She was very adamant about needing time and space, even helping me find a place! She went to an attorney that next week, got temporary papers, then filed for divorce. We have had our temporary hearing already. Looking back, I remember text messages on the major holidays in the fall, being very secret with cell phone, not attentive to our family and no nagging!

Swears no one else, just needs time. But I do not believe her.

I don't believe her either. If all she truly wanted was just space & time, she would not have knocking on the lawyer's door the next week. This has been her plan. She's get the H out of the house first, and prepares the way for OM.

With that said, we both come from very strong backgrounds and look down on anyone that would cheat. That’s really all I’ve got that make sure me think she’s not.

That may have been the girl you married, but the W you have today has changed. Her moral values, religious beliefs, personal convictions, wedding vows, children.............none of it stops her. It's like being on a drug that gives you the greatest high imaginable, and she'll compromise her integrity, dignity, career, marriage, nice home, relatives/friends.......in order to keep this exciting thrill that some other man is supplying. She might have been the most honest person you've ever known, but now she will deceive, lie, betray, cheat, manipulate, and about most anything else to get more ego food that supplies the monster growing inside of her. Compassion, sense of fairness, reasoning, patience, responsibility, honor, normal............are just a few things that have been dropped from her new identity as a wayward wife. In its place comes negative attitudes, intense plotting, unbelievable selfishness, manipulation, jealousy, irresponsibility, a cake diet, dropping old friends and hanging out with new people. She starts using anti-aging products, wears more cosmetics than usual, changes the color of her hair, and joins a gym. She starts dressing more provocative, talking like a teenagers ........and has the behavior to match. Her H may start hearing lines such as, "It's time I think about me, for a change" "I deserve to be happy!" "I've had to take care of everyone else, now it's my turn". "I love you, but I'm not in love with you". "I want us to always be friends"........and much more, which we refer to as being script.