Something I’ve been thinking about. I’d appreciate anyone who might have insights into possible answers. I know I will not know the answer for sure, but just questioning a few things.
After months, why would my H keep going month to month in temporary housing and leave all the finances in tact. He still only takes out his rent and $1,000 for everything else. The rest of his paycheck (and he makes 3x what I do) goes into our joint account like it always has for 28 years. Never once questioned me about the money in it. I continue to spend what I want (but I’m very responsible and he knows it), and pay the house bills. He had to charge something for $200 this week on our joint CC, and he advised me prior to doing it via text message. It seems so weird to me. After all these months, you’d think there would be movement toward a decision of some sort. At least an apartment.
I also read that most MLC spouses seem to spend crazy, flaunt their OW. I think my H would die of embarrassment if it came out publicly he was seeing OW. On the first go around in Jan 2018, he even said that if it got out he had an affair with her, we would have to move. Really? And this is the person he (I assume) is still with? Well, he may be all over the place with her. Who knows?
Obviously, I’m still not detached completely since these questions focus on H, and they are questions for which I will have no answer. But, although they have been on my mind this week, I’m not consumed by them. I’ve also had thoughts of wanting to end it, but then I stop myself and realize there is no need. I’m continuing to grow and move forward. No reason since my life(style) hasn’t changed much and I’m moving in a forward direction. A good reason to call it quits would be because our sitch is holding me back, and it’s not. For now.
I wonder if H is just too weak or scared to file for D. Or, maybe he wants to attempt to R, but doesn’t know how to begin. When we were dating, we broke up for a whole year, and saw each other from time-to-time as just friends. We both dated, and he told me that he always compared the woman he dated to me. And I always came out on top.
Well, this time around I’m not waiting in the wings. I’ve come too far. Time will bring answers.
DnJ – I originally wrote “Time will hopefully bring answers”, but removed “hopefully”. I’m learning.
This time around I’m using my time wisely.
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Just a quick GAL update. One of my 2019 goals is to do more activities outdoors. Today I went on a 27 mile bike ride with a girlfriend. First time. Loved it! Nice trail around here. In accordance with my Faith journey, tomorrow I am going to become a member at the church I have been attending since October. I never became a member at other churches I've attended throughout the years, in spite of how involved I was, but I'm glad I've decided to join this one.
I recently made a bit of progress on another 2019 goal - closet cleaning. I've been reorganizing H's side of the closet a bit and have taken over most of his drawers. He will be surprised to see at least one thing missing. Let's just say it's a medication. And I completely cleaned out the Master bath. It's amazing what gets shoved in the back of cabinets.
In spite of my bike ride, I've got some energy left. Maybe I'll make some bread today.
