BluWave - I think you're right - all kinds of things will change in my life as a result of the end of my marriage, and it is hard to predict how that is going to shake out. I know that my friends were both trying to be kind and both wanted the best for me, and I also know I want to make decisions on what I think is best for me, and not to get the approval of others - even good kind friends. I wonder if I end up Ring with my H (not likely) then I will displease the couple of friends who have seen me so heartbroken and supported me though my hardest days. If I end up taking steps to divorce him and even end up dating (again, I can't see it right now!) then there will be others who I will displease.
I think I am just growing. Realising that it's okay for my friends not to like my decisions - and that's kind of where I am with H too. I feel I urgently need some space to look inside and start making my own decisions, rather than seeking approval or managing myself solely to get something from someone else. I don't want to play that game any more.
H came around today to pick up Youngest. He tried to start a conversation about his behaviour when he was last in the house - his opening move was 'You seem to be very confused about what actually happened the other night...' which was hilarious because a) he has no idea what my feelings, thoughts or perceptions are because I choose not to bother sharing them with him and b) despite that, it seems he'd still like me to give him the chance to correct whatever he imagines my thinking and feeling to be - which is still emotionally manipulative and disrespectful behaviour. The arrogance is astounding. I wasn't expecting contrition or an apology, but that really takes the biscuit. I am done with validating him while he corrects me. I just ignored it, got Youngest ready and waved them goodbye at the door. I suspect he's going to try to have this argument another few times but I am not available for it.
