Definition and Guidelines for Piecing

[BluWave]

I hope to keep this piecing thread alive, however there are not many of us here actually doing that. I am going to try and post in it every few months or as I think of things that seem relevant.

I want to add some thoughts I have been having lately and they are on the concept of "time." Time is fascinating to think about and talk about because while time has passed (the past), there is still more time (the future) that has not yet happened. The known verses the unknown. While everything we do (our actions, thoughts, feelings, ideas) influences and thus creates the future, there is still no way to know what will ultimately happen. It is also impossible to predict the outcome or what our perception of it will be when it happens.

This is important for all of us, and particularity important in piecing, because we are going in on a leap of faith. We are trusting that if we keep choosing to work on our M, that over time, we will feel better about it. One thing to know is that when our S comes back to us, there is this initial wave/flood of relief and positive emotions, however they do not remain that way. There are so many other challenging things that can get in the way of the process. In order to stick it out, we have to believe that in time over the months (or in my case years), it will get better.

We cannot control the time that has passed but we can control the way we move into the future and how we influence it. That is something I have been reminded of recently and that I posted about in my own thread. The way I think about my H, my M, and how we interact definitely molds and shapes the outcome. When I was DBing, I didn't feel as if I had control. I actually did; I couldn't control him or if he came back, but I could control how I took care of myself and how I allowed him to treat me. I also can control the way I move froward now. I can't ever be 100% certain, but I can believe.

I am finding that I can move forward in a more positive way, if I allow more positive thinking. I cannot let triggers or negative thoughts control my emotions. I can see what is in front of me and accept my reality. I can choose to be loving, kind, patient and forgiving. I can also trust the process that this may actually work out. By allowing that trust in, over time, I am far more likely to have success. And if I don't have success, I am more likely to feel better about the failure because I will feel better about my efforts.

Most importantly, I have to trust that time really does heal all wounds.

Blu