The efforts to me that your W put into a Father's Day gift, since the pictures are out of a drawer from 5 to 8 years ago, the effort seems half @ssed to me. But the thought is still there. I still would have expressed some appreciation for it. Even though my W and I aren't talking, and that's because of it being my own terms for setting current boundaries, last year for W first Mother's Day. I didn't get W anything, I just took her out to dinner. I can understand why she thought I put no effort into it and she was right. I didn't make my that same mistake this year, and got her a small but nice journal for adventurous travel, with and from S1. She put a lot of thought and effort into putting together a Shutterfly Dad and S1 scrapbook for Father's Day from over the last year, and got me 5 free classes to some martial arts which she knew I've wanted to do over the last couple of years. She also played off the gifts from S1. The martial arts classes in something she had to give me. Both kind of softens my heart a little bit, but I'm not reading into it, and still not speaking with her other than logistics. I'm still trying to find a balance between being friendly and not bitter, and accepting who she currently is and what her actions are torwards me. It still feels selfish and betrayal like, the actions she is taking, it's a lot of logic vs. emotion and heart vs. head with me. I don't want to cut off my own nose to spite my face, but accept things for who and what they currently are, and keep things in check by treating people how they currently treat me. If they give a little then I give a little if they take a little when I take a little. I hope I'm doing this right and it's a healthy approach of distance and boundaries, but enough of caring and being fair.
