I have gently tried talking to H about his journey a few times, but so far H just says things like "I got what I deserve", "I'm depressed", etc. In spite of everything that has occurred throughout our marriage (and there is PLENTY, I assure you), I still believe he is redeemable with God's love and Grace, and that we could have a good life together if God can reach him. H just hasn't found a way to accept it yet. I believe that our brief interactions are my opportunity to show God's love and Grace through my actions, validation, and positive attitude. I have found an inner happiness on this journey, and I believe he sees it. It’s his choice whether he will receive it.
As far as missing potential small signs or attempts as reconciliation, only you would know how to respond on a case by case basis. For me, I choose to just take things at face value – such as the invite to dinner. I just looked at it as a single event. And it was pleasant. I’m trying very hard to let him give what he can, and ask nothing of him emotionally. He will find himself ready, or not, at some point in the future. If he is never ready, and stays in limbo indefinitely, at some point I will have to decide if it’s time for me to move on.
In the early months, I wore my ring, and even pointed it out a few times to him. I thought about whether it came across to H as 'plan B'. Who knows. Doesn't really matter what they think. Ultimately you are only plan b if YOU choose to be plan B. I have since taken my ring off about 2 months ago. Just wort of morphed into not wearing it. I've been thinking about my stand lately, and felt compelled to wear them a bit over the weekend. This surprised me.
